Prime's News - March 2003

Greetings fellow Autobots! It’s been quite a heavy winter here at Mount St. Hilary. Wheeljack and Perceptor made the world’s tallest snowman, and all the Autobots were on hand as the fine folks from Guinness’ Book of World Records wintnessed Grapple and Hoist putting on the final touches. And what were those final touches, you ask? A carrot nose? A charcoal smile? Not at all, human friends. In fact, the final touches were a gigantic Autobot sigil-plate on the snowman’s forehead. I was so moved, I held aloft the Creation Matrix and named the fellow Arctic Blast! (I’m told by our lawyer friends that a certain toy manufacturer is a-okay with such a name.)

But then clamity struck. As I said, all Autobots were in attendance. All but our mighty Protectobots that is. As Mr. Guinness and his inspectors were perusing the Heroic Arctic Blast, they noticed a piece of metal protruding from the new Autobot’s arm. It turned out that Protectobot giant Defensor was actually WITHIN Arctic Blast, acting as an armature! The Worlds Records reps were nonplussed, and explained that a snow man had to be pure snow, and could rely on no structural support. I suggested a solution: Instead of having created the world’s tallest snowMAN, science whizzes Wheeljack and Perceptor had created the world’s tallest snowBOT!

You can look for our entry in the 2004 Guiness Book of World Records. And a return to active to duty for Defensor when the springtime comes.

-Optimus Prime

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